


Cinco de Meow

by JustAFigment



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya knows, But just a little, Cinco de Mayo, Crack, Drunkenness, adrien knows, babies first shot, drunk reveal, marinette knows, mexican cat puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 15:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10994136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAFigment/pseuds/JustAFigment
Summary: Adrien has never gotten drunk. Alya, Nino, and Marinette decide to right this unspeakable wrong on the best holiday they can think of.





	Cinco de Meow

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a little after "Marinette is Not Chat Noir", but that's not a mandatory read.
> 
> Originally started this on May 5th and just got really side tracked from finishing it that day, so it's been sitting here for a while.

It had been just under a month since Marinette Dupain-Cheng had learned that one of her closest friends had never gotten well and thoroughly hammered. It had also been just under a month since she learned, thanks to an equally hammered Alya’s persistent musings, that said friend was actually her partner in crime-fighting, Chat Noir. It had _ also _ been just under a month since she herself had gotten, well, hammered and let her feline compadre catch a glimpse of her own cat escaping a formerly well secured bag, and that gato’s name was something along the lines of ‘Hi, I’m Ladybug’.

 

So far, it had been a rather eventful month, but today was a special day. 

 

Today was the day that Marinette, with the help of two of her best friends, planned to get Adrien poster-child Agrest absolutely plastered. We’re talking wasted, obliterated, off his wagon, absolutely schnitzeled.

 

Sure, the Mexican Army might have kicked French ass in 1862 a long time ago, but tonight, they were about to kick French ass again. She could guarantee it. And so could Alya, and so could Nino.

 

Now, there were a number of fun drinking locations around Paris. There were also a number of fun Mexican restaurants around Paris. Well, restaurants that served ambiguously latino food and labeled it as ‘Mexican’ in one form or another. The same way that there were often restaurants that served ‘Chinese’ food, much to Marinette’s chagrin. But in the name of the event, operation ‘Agreste Annihilated’, they couldn’t harp on details, which is what landed them in a barely acceptable, hole in the wall location, with gaudy, overdone, borderline racist wall decor, blaring mariachi versions of popular pop songs blasting overhead, and an unforgivably sticky floor that trailed all throughout the low-lit ‘eating establishment’.

 

In other words, it was the perfect little shit-hole to get delightfully shit-faced in.

 

“Uhm, are you guys sure this is a good idea?” Adrien slid into the small booth that was their ultimate destination for the evening. While he was more and more eager to go against his father’s tight hold, he was still the slightest bit wary of just exactly what the night would entail. Or rather, the consequences that could come once the night was over. The front-row display he had received from Marinette wasn’t exactly an occurrence he was eager to experience himself.

 

“Famous last words, bro.” Nino slid in across from him, their respective ladies bracketing them off from the rest of the restaurant a moment later. “You’ll do fine. What could possibly go wrong?” He grinned.  A lot. A lot could go wrong.

 

Marinette stretched past him to snag the drink menu, the mischievous dazzle in her eye she shared with Alya doing nothing to ease his worries, as they both perused the list of local concoctions. Nino leaned against his girlfriend's shoulder to take a look of his own, leaving the resident blonde to observe, wringing his hands underneath the table.

 

Alya was pointing out two of the over-the-top drinks on the menu, holiday specials, that she had all intentions of trying, Nino was wavering between something simple or going straight to shots, and Marinette was… 

 

_ Uh oh…  _

 

Looking at him. Not directly, but just out of the corner of her eye. It was a look he’d come to recognize all too well over the last month. He had been used to it when she was clad in red and plotting something. Something that usually involved himself being hauled bodily over her head and tossed at some nefarious villain. As Marinette, however, it meant there was something she wanted him to do… or try… and he wasn’t going to have much of a say in the matter.    
  
“Adrien, do you like tequila?” He swallowed. Tequila was a pretty intense drink, from what he had heard.    
  
“I don’t know, honestly.” He was a good kid. His drinking experience, up till recently, had consisted of the occasional glass of wine or champagne, usually under extreme supervision at one of his father's events. Recreational drinking had always been looked down on, even after his eighteenth birthday. Which, to be fair, wasn’t too long ago, so he hadn’t had too much time to explore the liquid library of adulthood on his own.

 

“What about rum?” Nino piped up. He was all for broadening his besties horizons, in all directions. He was a good bro. But also one of the other reasons Adrien was extremely apprehensive about tonight.

 

Where Alya was now ‘in the know’ about his secret job as one of Paris’s beloved superheroes, Nino was still entirely in the dark, and that was something he had voiced many an opinion on. Frankly it was unfair. Their little quartet had always been as truthful between each other as safety would allow. Now that Alya was aware that he and Marinette were moonlighting as the duo of defenders Ladybug and Chat Noir, he felt it only fair to bring Nino into the fold. Especially after he learned the finer details of how Marinette had blown their cover so far out of the water there you could find debris from the explosive reveal still lingering in the stratosphere.

 

Here he always thought he would be the one to break the proverbial seal.

 

But no, Nino didn’t know, so there was a certain need for a tightening of lips. And as far as their lovely lady companions for the night were concerned, secrets did not mix well with liquid libations. 

 

The small group took the next few minutes to narrow down what Adrien had and had not tried already. Not wanting to overload him with too many different drinks, and in honor of the  _ holiday _ , it was decided he would be going on a tequila fueled adventure and thus the first round of drinks consisted of four margaritas with accompanying shots of the establishments finest tequila on the rocks.

 

Granted, it was still only a midgrade Patron, it would still serve its purpose.

 

“Man, it’s still so unreal that you two are an actual item now.” Nino waved a hand between Marinette and Adrien, while they waited for the waiters return. “After what, like, a decade of dancing around each other?”

 

Adrien grinned. “Ah, yes. It’s been eighty-four years.” He nodded sagely. Marinette smacked him lightly on the shoulder.    
  
“It’s been four, tops.” She shot across at to Nino before turning on her seat-mate. “And you, it’s way too early for you to be memeing already. Start up this soon and tonight’s going to turn into a total cat-tastrophy.”   
  
“Says you!” Came a snort from across the table. Alya shook a finger at her in admonition. “I  _ will _ reinstate the shot-per-pun rule. Don’t think I won’t.”

 

“You know, I keep hearing about that, but none of you will fill me in on the apparently hilarious antics that managed to perform the miraculous hookup that, again, brought about this.” Nino once more waved his hand dramatically across the table at the newest couple of their quartet. “When does Nino get to be part of story time, huh? Makes a dude feel left out. Fourth wheel on the tricycle of life.” He wiped away a single imaginary manly tear, even as Adrien took the waving hand between his own, clasping it delicately across the table and gazing upon his Bromeo with an intense look of shame and longing. If only he could tell. If only.    
  
“Bro.”   
  
The moment lingered, the two boys locked in the magical moment for minutes as the girls observed their precious dorks. Even after drinks had been doled out, it took a few well aimed paper straw covers to break the connection.

 

“A toast!” Alya shouted, holding up her shot to the table. The rest of the group raised their tiny glasses. “Adrien has always been our little groups precious golden sun child. Prim, proper, and pretty as sin, all for his old man.” The man in question made a face at the roundabout praise, but he could do nothing to hide the slight blush. “Today is the fifth day of May, and some hundred and fifty years ago, Mexico kicked French ass. Well today it’s gonna kick French ass again, and as my girl Marinette here can attest, what fine, fine ass it is. Mm. Get it, ‘M’!” Nino whooped and this time the blush was a group effort. “Now, our perfect son is gonna become our  _ plastered _ son! So bottoms up to a night hopefully none of us will remember!” She clinked her shot against the other three and gulped down the amber liquid in one go. The rest of the group followed quit, and two out of three mirrored Alya’s skill.    
  
Adrien, however, was left coughing with half of the golden fire-water still in his cup, leaving the others to chuckle at ‘baby’s first shot’. Oh it was gonna be a fun night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An hour later, and two full drinks down, Nino found himself wheezing with laughter.    
  
“OK, so then Marinette comes busting through my window, right? And I’m in my PJs -”   
  
“The cat’s pajamas.” Marinette snickers beside him, eyeing  the two shots she’d collected from the round of four sitting in the middle of the table. Alya’s hand hovered over the remaining two but decided to have mercy and not count that one as a pun. Not yet anyway.   
  
“Anyway, this girl,” Adrien jerked his thumb, and entire drink at that point, towards Marinette. “This usually shy, stuttering mess of nerves has me backed up onto the couch, gets in my  _ lap _ , and just plants one on me. Right there in my room.”

 

Through the raucous laughter, Nino still held the ability to look scandalized. “Holy shit. Marinette. What are you, a spider monkey? How did you even get  _ up _ to his window?”    
  
She snagged one of the two shots in front of her, gulping it down and slamming the glass back to the table, taking only a moment before leveling a completely serious expression at the bespectacled boy. “Magic.”

 

He dissolved into another fit of giggles, and she just grinned.   
  
Alya sat with a smug smile as her boyfriend curled down to the table, hiding his face. 

 

“My Lady, I think you’ve killed him.” The redhead across the table sent him a not so gentle kick to the shin that was pointedly ignored.

 

“Nah, he’ll survive. He’s a tough cookie.” She took a long sip of her current drink to wash down the bite of the shot.   
  
“I think you need to be PUNished for that one.” Adrien slid another shot in front of Marinette to bring her count back up to two again.   
  
Alya’s smirk widened. Marinette just gawked at him.   
  
“Oh no, that one absolutely doesn’t count! Besides, Alya’s the shot judge.”   
  
“Oh, it  _ paw _ sitively does. Don’t try to  _ glass _ over the subject. You’ll just  _ shoot  _ yourself in the foot.” The blonde nodded towards her small collection of glasses. He hadn’t entirely believed her punny drinking habits, but he had already seen first hand the slippery slope she slid down after the first round of drinks.   
  
“This is totally not fair. Alya help.” The girl pled across the table. It was one thing to do shots of rum or vodka when mixed with other things to cut down the actual alcohol content, but so many shots of tequila was just begging for hell in the morning, or at the current rate, later that night. Again.

 

“I find it  _ purr _ fectly a _ mew _ sing you think tha-” He stopped mid sentence as the redhead’s hand slipped across the table and slid both shots resting innocently in front of Marinette in his direction. Oh.

 

“Drink up, punny guy.” She leveled him with a look, Nino finally able to collect himself enough to catch up with the current situation.

 

“Wait, what? But that was her rule!” It was a pitiful whine. The three grins he received across the table had already signed his warrant.

 

“Uh huh, that was also before you steamrolled her count for the hour in just a few sentences.” Alya crossed her arms over her chest, nodding down to the shots before him. “Just be glad I’m not enforcing the one-per rule, otherwise your night would already be over.” She smirked. So far Adrien had been holding up pretty well with his first big-kid drinks.  _ So _ far.

 

He sat, eyeing the small glasses.

 

“What’s the matter, kitty? Cat got your tongue?” Marinette settled her chin on her hand, leaning on the table to watch his second attempt at downing a shot.

  
“Come on, Agreste, don’t be such a scaredy cat.” Alya eyed him, playing off her friend’s egging. She very discreetly pushed  the remaining shot from the middle of the table back in front of Marinette and got a rather pouty ‘hey’ in return. She earned that one.

 

“Yeah, man, don’t be a pussy.” Nino chimed in and both girls burst into laughter.. He was well aware of his best bro’s predisposition for casual wordplay, but lately he’d been absolutely on  _ fire _ . “We all know you can talk the talk, so show us you can walk the walk.” The bespectacled boy crossed his arms over his chest for a moment, rethinking the decision to snag his glass and polish off the rest of his drink. The waitress...waiter...whoever, would be coming back soon enough for the another round.

 

“Et tu, Nino?” Adrien frowned, lifting one of the small glasses to his face. His nose curled at the strength of the smell. He had  _ not _ enjoyed that first shot and would have been more than happy to stick with the foofier, fruitier drinks on his downward spiral. “I bet you all think you’re  _ hiss _ terical, don’t you.” He wasn’t pouting. Not at all.    
  
He took the shot.   
  
Oh how it  _ burned _ again. At that point he knew he was in for trouble the rest of the night. But better to get this done fast, right? Marinette clapped him on his back as he cleared his throat, a direct after effect from the harsh bite of the amber liquid, but instead of letting the sting die down and restart the process all over again, he swapped glasses and forced the second shot past his lips and into his system. 

 

The rest of the table cheered, breaking into another round of friendly laughter and empty sympathies for the blonde’s liver. Thankfully there was a little bit of food on the table, and he didn’t care if it  _ was _ the scattered remains of Alya’s nachos, he was getting that taste out of his mouth, right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“More  _ meow _ garitas!” Adrien called to the random waiter that walked past the table. There was a point the trio accompanying the virgin drinker realized if the shots for puns rule remained, their friend would be in a tequila induced coma within the next hour. 

 

“Do you think we should cut him off?” Nino asked Marinette as Adrien leaned against her, trying to flag down any waiter that would listen to his mewls for more drinks. Somewhere along the night he had managed to acquire a comically colorful sombrero. Alya suspected it was when he went to the bathroom, but no one could actually pinpoint its appearance on the scene.

 

“Hor _ chat _ ta!  _ Purr _ itos with  _ meow _ r cream!  _ Nya _ chos with  _ gato _ mole and pico de  _ gato _ !” Adrien giggled as he called out pun after pun. The boy was obviously peckish and it honestly wasn’t a bad idea to get some actual food in him before he drank himself sick.    
  
“Well, he  _ seems _ like he’s still having fun and the world isn’t quite spinning out from under him yet...” She grinned as he shoved his face against her own, nuzzling into her neck and all but climbing into her lap. Oh yes, it had been confirmed that a drunk Adrien was a cuddly Adrien. “Down, boy.” She patted his head. They were still in public, and as much fun as it was to fend off her clingy companion, there was a fine line between acceptable PDA, and hot drunken sex in a restaurant booth across the table from your best friends.   
  
“But… But buginette,” He whined, and she froze momentarily. A drunk Adrien also had next to no content filter. “Bug… Em _ paw _ nadas” He snickered. He was in his own little world.   
  
“Yeah, maybe we should.” She finally agreed. They really didn’t want him going too overboard, and the way he was running his mouth was bound to lead to an absolute cat-tastrophy at this rate. 

 

“You know, Mari, me an Alya love you guys dearly, but maybe you should convince Chat over there to keep your role play stuff in the bedroom.” Nino smirked. He raised a glass, taking a long swig of his much-lighter-than-earlier drink.

 

“I’ll have you know my Lady is the real deal.” Adrien shot a finger across the table at him, wobbly pointing all he was worth. “Bro or no, I will fight you… mew… I will fight mew.” He couldn’t keep his grin away as one green eye peek from its hiding place against Marinette’s shoulder. She was wearing the strangest expression, something between the morbid horror and strained amusement.

 

Nino set his glass down slowly. Alya sat with a hand over her face, elbow propped on the table, snickering uncontrollably.

 

The black haired girl pulled Adrien’s pointing hand away from Nino and held it firmly. “Now, now,  _ Chaton _ .” There was a solid emphasis on the pet name as she spoke. The blonde’s head snapped up to look at her, nearly clocking her in the nose in the process. “Don’t forget about our  _ secret identities _ . You wouldn’t want to let the  _ cat _ out of the  _ bag _ in public, would you?”

 

Marinette could  _ feel _ the bleary, scrutinizing gaze cast diagonally across the table at her. At her and Adrien. At her and the Adrien that was actually whining like a scolded kitten.   
  
Alya’s snickering only evolved into full on laughter as she looked between Nino and the couple across the table from her.

 

“...No fucking way.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Wait, wait, wait, so  _ Alya _ thought  _ you _ were  _ him _ because you can’t stop punning when you’re drunk?” Nino gaped across the table. “And  _ you _ thought it would be a good idea to prove her wrong in the most  _ spectacular _ fashion?”  He held his hat in his hands, pulling the red cap down over his eyes as he groaned.

 

Across the table from him, Adrien lay with his head on folded arms, snoring softly as Marinette’s fingers laced through his hair.    
  
Next to him, Alya wore the sombrero in triumph at a job well done at properly introducing their sun child to booze.

 

“Girl. In what universe was that a good idea?” He picked at the massive amount of food that now littered their table. The waiters that passed earlier in the night had indeed heard all of the cries for food, and delivered with gusto.  Everyone at the table was going to have quite a massive to-go bag for later on. As an afterthought, he scooped up a chip with a disgusting amount of cheese on it, holding it under the table, only to have it snatched away a moment later. So, they had these tiny magical god things that gave them powers.

 

Also, two of his three best friends were super heroes.

 

Neat.

 

“This explains so much.” He just shook his head.

 

How the heck did they end up with such a weird group of friends.


End file.
